After watching the Art:21 video of James Turrel in thesis class the other day, his work reminded me of this one house that I read about while I was in Japan, although I couldn’t remember anything about it except where I read about it, so after a good while of looking I found it again, only to find that it was done by the same man and that made me laugh. Anyway…

The house is really beautiful and there is a bunch I could say about it, but basically its a more beautiful and Japanese style of the Quaker house he built in the Art:21 video. Centered around bringing the outside in and using these modern lighting techniques and colors/feelings to inform this meditation house. I really like his work, but then again I’ve always liked light focused work.

 House of Light - Home Page

pingmag - house of light

ok, this is just a remindeer for me to post all the things I’ve been meaning to post on the blog.

-new light photos

-thoughs about other art pieces (reso-net, etc.)

-discussions on culture and having to forget old culture to assimilate in to a new one. (lan samantha chang, john okada, and the one piece from james’s class)

-im3 progress.

I’ve decided on at least some concrete things about what the physical manifestation of my thesis will have/be. I want there to be some dialog between the dual existence of cultures in someone/or place. Almost like a confusion of source and identity. I’ve been in this Asian American Lit class and one of the early topics that arose in class was that if someone not from America came to live here would they have to forget their past and their roots to fully assimilate into American culture. While I disagreed with the idea at first, the more I thought about it and how stereotypes are set-up, how the average American acts, which of course is based on assumptions and gross blindness haha, but this idea that one has to let go of those roots, as unfortunate as it is, I think it is more necessary than one would think.

Even with my experience in Japan, this comes to light the more I think about it. I often times tried to mimic and understand how the Japanese would act in a situation and through this I felt I could understand the culture more, and surprisingly when I came back to the states, I found that my personal actions, and even some of my opinions and thoughts had been affected by this. I was sometimes disgusted with the crude style it seemed that America had transformed into and I would want to go back to the clean and almost machine-like Japan.

anyway this duality involved in 3rd culture kid syndrome or international kid lives comes from this, so the dual presence of Japanese and English will be there. I was also thinking of having the same audio playing out of a two separate speakers but one in English and one in Japanese. the effect works when placed on each ear…like in headphones.

I got the idea from this track…

so for some time now I’ve bee thinking about doing a set of stickers that allow people to rate the tags and graffiti that they see on the streets or wherever.  The basic idea is that there is a sticker with stars on it next to, on or around a tag/street art, and the person who put it there colors in the negative stars to give it is rating. Each sticker starts out with 5 stars and you color over them to give the appropriate rating. One would color in two for a rating of three.

I was talking to dan hoerr about it and we were discussing ways to take this idea further. He mentioned having some sort of geo tagging along with all of this so that there would be some way to see what other tags have been, well, tagged and who was the artist if you know. Almost like creating a mappable community of these tags, but without a sort of centeralized system to track them. Or there is always the idea of having the database, but thats a lot of work and frankly I would like keeping this project in the same idea as the bubble project. But I guess that means having an online element to it. hmmm

well here is the basic design of the sticker, it needs some work, but the main focus is these stars.  I think finding the proper nomenclature for the rating/score/mark is needed and finding out a way for the participant to know how to mark the stars with their score is the hard part. But I’ll work on it. Any ideas?

So for the longest time I think I’ve had this self induced barrier in not only my work, but how I am when it comes to learning things and becoming skilled in a specific thing. This can be anything from a video game, to language, and sports, activities, just about anything. It usually happens when I’m in the process of learning and I’ve become interested in something and I know enough to be better than a beginner but something in my mind stops me from wanting to take it further and become more skilled at it. Its almost like I’m afraid of that awkward growth stage where you’re not a beginner so you know what you’re doing, but you’re not really good at anything so you look kind of lost. I often get this way when I take classes for something, I feel comfortable in the beginner classes but when I’m offered a chance to take intermediate courses I tend to be reserved, I think this has to come with my comfortability with being able to make mistakes and using the excuse of not knowing to save me. Whereas with the higher levels I need to know more and I need to be more sure of myself, which I feel, I have a hard time doing. I’m not very confident in my work or my ability to do things. I tell myself I can, but usually I am not happy with the results due to me feeling like I did not putting enough effort into things.  Its something that I will eventually have to get over, but it tends to hinder my work and research too.

Because I’m afraid of this next step, I tend to back down when creating work that can go further than the initial idea. I get excited about it at first but then, when the time comes to push, when it needs to be taken further than just that idea I back down like a scared cat and freeze up, which I think is why a lot of my work isn’t really that deep. I have no desire for it to become this super conceptual work, but I’d like there to be more than one idea within the piece. Or even the execution of the work, seems lacking since I’m afraid to reach that level. Which is also odd since I feel like my aesthetic is that of high quality and the sort of modern, smooth sleekness that comes with that.

So I don’t know what to do. I feel like my time is already running short and that I should be making more progress than I am. I want to be able to make things that are representative of my time here, and say that yes, I am a professional, and I can carry myself and my work with a high level of craftsmanship.  Its a matter of stepping on my own foot and forcing myself to work harder. I mean, I’m in the studio everyday, but I should work more. Read more things during the day, absorb more ideas, look at more artists. I might need to remove myself from all social interactions and spend 100% of my time on my work to reach the level that I’m satisfied with for now. But that doesn’t mean I won’t raise the bar later, I just need to get over this fear now and everything should be easier.

these are more images that I took using the neon lights and the ideas that I had. I would like to take the lights out into the public / nature and take more photos. I think they’d be a bit more descriptive and accurate to what sort of aesthetic I enjoy.

these are some notes that I took while reading about tea architecture and tea gardens, possibly relate to the aesthetic of my thesis.

Four main styles of tea architecture:

-large drawing room (shoin)

-the rustic hut style (kozashiki) this appealed to merchant tastes
- the samurai class tea hut, also aristocrat’s tea pavilion (sukiya)

-the (soan) can only be considered a true tea room though

Heian period was mostly Shinden style, but Muromachi period evolved into Shoin style. Originally a writing room or study built on the drawing room wing of a temple. Main tatami floor with ornamentation on the walls.

The Soan style tea house was attributed to the tea master Shuko, who originated the idea of the host serving tea, his tea ceremonies were meant to induce intimacy among guests. These small scale rooms, about 4 1/2 mats were built until late Muromachi period. A more wabi-inspired space.

Drawing rooms were built so that the light from the North would be used since this was considered the best light to appreciate art. Windows on the east and south sides took advantage of this while tea rooms were built facing north, for a far more subdued lighting, so that their minds wouldn’t wander from the ceremony.

ok I stopped taking notes and went ahead and just read the rest of the reading. Just as a quick overview, soan style seems to the be the most prevalent in recent times and there is much to think about including but not limited to, tatami placement and size, window placement, stone pot for water, location of nijiriguchi (guest entrance) and then the stones leading up to the entrance, the tea garden and how does the garden reflect the aesthetics of the tea house. A simple tea house matches a simple garden and an ornate house matches a lavish garden.

Tea houses seem very simple to explain, but in reality building them is much more complex. While all of this information is presented to me in a book, these are just the traditional ways of doing things. Even then there are a couple of main styles that originate with tea masters such as Rikyu, Joo, Oribe and others. Each has their own style, some very different from others. There have been many changes throughout history too, dealing with placement of guests, location and how tea should be served to people in different classes.

Height seems to be something that is very prevalent in the culture, with higher elevation lending itself towards the nobles and the samurai class, and merchants being lower, however looking at a more modern tea house by Terunobu Fujimori he plays with this idea and raises the entire tea house. Having the tea house closer to the heavens may seem like the whole experience has been given a more divine allocation.  But what about the separation from the ground?  For some reason the tea ceremony always seems to have some sort of connection to the earth, maybe just because tea comes from the earth, but it feels like there is a strong connection with nature and breaking this tie seems a bit harsh.

so, forcing myself to do some work on this project before its way too late, I did some experimenting with the neon lights and placing them in  an environment  and seeing how the light changes the look.  Well, it didn’t go as well as I wanted it to, I see to have these big ideas in my head and yet they never get realized since either i don’t know how to do what I want, or I stop myself from getting where I want to go. Which is never a good thing. So I  put the lights in different places in the Brown center just to start off and I’ll try to take them out into the natural environment before class on thursday, however I don’t have the DSLR anymore so I don’t know if I’ll be able to take nice photos .  I really like using the Canon XT Rebel that campus tech has, it makes me want to get a decent camera instead of the point and shoot that I have.

but anyway, I like where the idea is going, but I need to push it to the production quality that I want it to have.  That just requires the patience and equipment I need to gain over the next semester. But from where I started its  a base. I’m trying to think what I was trying to do by putting these lights in environments, I have more scenario photos that I’ll put up later. But I think instead of showing just these photos there needs to be some sort of comparison, since these seem kind of empty to me. Not like what I have envisioned in my head. I want to be able to add this specific type of aesthetic to an area, the neon/modern look/feel to things, but I need to think about everything before I just go in an do something. I feel like that tends to give mediocre results. These environments were not changed much, just had the added effect of neon lights. Its like a poor attempt at a Dan Flavin piece. Just seems like accent lighting, which in some ways was what I wanted. But it isn’t what I wanted. If only I could produce the images in my head, then things would be different haha.  I feel like since I don’t have anything poignant to say about all of this, its sort of a failed exercise so far.

So my friend and I are having this long conversation over sms/texting while I’m at the desk working and its one that I think I’ve been needing to have to help push this thesis/my identity/being ok with my interest in Japan.

HER: Eww, now I’m ashamed of coming here! Chanto shukudai yatteruno?
ME: Not yet haha. I’m almost there, I have two more small things to write about and then the tea stuff. Then its reading time.
HER: I’m sad you left the tea stuff til the last minute :< but whatever. Coincidently I'm drinking green tea now. ato shukudai sukoshidakara yokattane.

ME: I’m not leaving it. I really want to do it. I really enjoy chado. But I don’t want to screw it up with my Americaness.
HER: I know. I just wanted to tease you. But I bet you can write better about J-culture than I do because I’m too americanized.

ME: Ok now you’re just wrong. Plus I feel like a giant loser because I like Japan so much and not my own culture you know?
HER: demo there isn’t much American culture yet jyan? I started to value my culture after going to the states. And I hate myself for ignorance in my own identity. I’m just glad foreigners are starting to value stuff for us ttekanji. I can talk forever about this lol.

ME: haha so can I. Since I have mixed feelings about gaijin and Japan, its a mixed identity thing. Since I don’t really have, I associate with one that is so different than what I know. I don’t know. I just wish I didn’t fall into that white boy and Japan thing. I’d like to think I’m different, but sometimes I wonder if I am a stereotype.
HER: I guess its like trying to define what a third culture kid means. I can’t speak for gaijin but they tend to lose or immerse themselves to gain a part of a foreign culture so they can define themselves more easily? it has its pros and cons, I don’t realky know what I’m saying.

ME: No it makes send. Its a complicated thing, I mean I feel at home in the states, but I’m not happy here. While I was happy in Tokyo, I wasn’t always at home with myself.
HER: I think since you grew up here there is that aura of comfort. Like what if you never knew about Japan? But I think Japan is particular - a lot of foreigners refuse to leave Japan after working and living there because its nice. Demo they always go back to the us or where ever they are from for vacation That itself explains about something?

ME: Yeah, its like of like they haven’t given up their past home. I mean, I know I’ll come back a few times, but we’ll see, the idea of home is so abstract that you can’t say one way or another. I mean look at the kanji for home (ie / 家), its used in so many other words it talks about a sense of stability as well as comfort.
HER: true, I can’t remember how I felt about having a “home” back in Jordan or Bangladesh. Maybe I felt like I was a foreigner coming back to Japan? I don’t know.

and then we just kind of changed subjects. But its a conversation that I’m sure many internationally minded/third culture kids think about. Cultural Identity and how that affects outlook, turns out this is a topic that I’m discussing in my Asian American Lit class, while I don’t agree with some of the teacher’s outlooks on things, but finding a cultural identity is something that everyone will need to do at some point in their life if they are to grow and figure out who they are.

Cultural Identity is a tricky thing. I mean, who/what allows one to identity with a specific culture, and if they do have a connecting, what if they aren’t from that culture. Are they viewed as an outcast or does the culture embrace the outsider and educate them on the correct cultural actions. I mean, even specific to just Japan, but the country was built for the Japanese by the Japanese. Not like America which has many different cultural heritage’s and a mixture of styles and point of views, Japan is Japan with Japanese people. A very homogeneous society, but I guess in contrast to how I’ve grown up, seems like a nice change for a bit. But if you’re not allowed into the very homogeneous society, will one ever be a part of the cultural artifacts but not the culture itself.

This is the famous chair that I was talking about in class, that I couldn’t find. Well I was eventually able to find it, I was just looking in the wrong place. It is a piece that is part of a collection of furniture with neon lighting accents on them. Created by Lee Brom for the neo neon collection. Called the “electric louis” the chair with a style of its own is pushed further by the accenting neon light that highlights the outline and shape of the chair.

The media on Brom’s site states that these pieces are ‘art that is ultimately functional’. These neon lights are supposed to form halos around the traditional hand carved forms and reflect the soft lights into the deep lacquer finish. What I really enjoy about the chair above (the rest of the collection seems like an after thought) is the way the neon light beautifully accents the traditional carving but also elevates the chair to this sort uber stylish seating that you’d see in a nice fashion ad or a James Bond villain.
This sort of accent lighting has always held an interest to me, originally with the artist Dan Flavin and a lot of his work revolving around changing the atmosphere and feeling of the room or architecture that he was building his sculptures around. Aside from being visually appealing to me, these lights are more than just colors in a space. He really plays with emotions and physical reactions to things. In some of his pieces the light is so strong that it is physically unbearable, while others sterilize and describe.

This use of light to describe a space or to describe the negative space in relation to an object, or using the light to defamiliarize the object or space around the object, or the space itself is something that I think can be pushed. This idea ties into the one with the LED throwies and how using them to define a space, or bring a sense of life to an otherwise dark space. Using light to illuminate a quality or evoke some sort of emotion from the space seems to be a theme that runs through all of these works.